Recently, I caledl to ask about Kaitlyn's her welfare, to ask if she needs anything. I periodically check in with her. She tells me she is good and that she doesn't need anything. This is all said somewhat dismissively, possibly under the influence, so I attempt to disconnect by telling her I am in traffic and need to focus. I am not sure why I told her I was heading to take her sister to a doctor's appointment, but I did.
Kaitlyn then says, "You spoil her too much".
Seriously? What was that? My shock at the comment blindsides me for an instant, and I cling desperately at the mommy side of me - you know that side, the one with compassion, support and understanding. Kaitlyn is difficult even at her best, and I must prepare myself each time I contact her because I can never anticipate her emotional state.
Seriously? What was that? My shock at the comment blindsides me for an instant, and I cling desperately at the mommy side of me - you know that side, the one with compassion, support and understanding. Kaitlyn is difficult even at her best, and I must prepare myself each time I contact her because I can never anticipate her emotional state.
I gently remind Kaitlyn that the purpose of my phone call to her was to check on her welfare, to ask in regard to her needs, to check if she needed anything. I am still in shock about the comment. I ask her if something is happening in regard to her comment.
Kaitlyn tells me then that I spend too much time talking and that listening to me talk gives her a headache. She rudely tells me that now she has a headache whereas she did not have a headache before. Again, she says, "You talk too much".
Having a hard time staying connected to my mommy side, remaining calm while driving and controlling my urge to scream obscenities, all I hear is a voice urging me to tell Kaitlyn to screw herself. This is the same voice that wants to rudely tell her that I am not bound to do anything for her. I do not need to remind Kaitlyn that she is where because of the decisions she made. Maybe her intention was not to deflect from her possible "intoxication"; but i felt that it was.
I completely resent being the bad guy; I am not the bad guy.
I wish I knew why it bugs me so much or why I continue to try so hard to reach her. Honestly, I do want to tell her to "bugger off" and just figure it all out on her own. In many ways, she is figuring it out on her own, under her own conditions and definitions. Her crappy comments will not deter my concerns or lessen my prayers. Luckily, Kaitlyn doesn't have a detached parent.
I wish I knew why it bugs me so much or why I continue to try so hard to reach her. Honestly, I do want to tell her to "bugger off" and just figure it all out on her own. In many ways, she is figuring it out on her own, under her own conditions and definitions. Her crappy comments will not deter my concerns or lessen my prayers. Luckily, Kaitlyn doesn't have a detached parent.
---------------------------------------------Post Note-------------------------------
As I edit this piece from March, I laugh to myself. Come forward 4 months, and Kaitlyn is doing better than she was. We continue to talk often, and even when I am so worried and frustrated I feel I need to abandon her, I won't. From where she started, she has made so much progress; I am proud of that.
As I edit this piece from March, I laugh to myself. Come forward 4 months, and Kaitlyn is doing better than she was. We continue to talk often, and even when I am so worried and frustrated I feel I need to abandon her, I won't. From where she started, she has made so much progress; I am proud of that.
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