This photo was only 6 years ago, and oh, my breath catches. What happened? These were those wonderful moments when I loved my life so much I scarce could breath. That time is gone, and I mourn. Truly, I grieve with a depth I've never known -- not when I divorced nor when my father passed. Missing these three brave and fierce young women consumes me. It's not healthy, and I must find a way to reconcile all this longing, to compartmentalize it, or it will negatively shape the days remaining in my life. It will torture and twist memories.
My precious daughters, I love you. There are not enough words in the world to truly explain this love in my heart for you. Nor do words exist to explain my great sadness in the absence of those wonderful family moments that not only defined me, but shaped me. This one moment in time is my heaven, and if I could repeat a day until my last breath, it would be this one.
As you three continue to shape and define your own adult lives, remember this one brief second in time and remember all the love and joy poured out to you from your mother. This day may have been for you just one more "blah" moments, but for me, it seared a taste of heaven into my soul.
I've been pondering of late the reason people seem so in a hurry, why it seems we just keep pushing forward with little or no regard for the sweet memories of the past. Those past memories are often painful, albeit sweet at times. Watching your sweet babies grow and evolve holds joy and wonder, but also grief.
