Day 4, Round 3

Kate............there are more words to say than I can possibly express, too much emotion.  This whole situation, all the words I can't say, all the emotion I cannot control is so cliched it borders on insanity.  My worry over you and your future continues each day to push me closer and closer to complete delirium.  All at one time, I need to scream out in complete anger and rage but also to plead for your safe return.  Today I cannot quiet those voices that taunt me, reminding me I failed you.  Despite all the positive support from those around me, I just cannot stop feeling like I did not do enough.

I guess most parents / loved ones in similar situations have thought exactly the same things.  I know there are many at this very moment feeling the same sense of helplessness, desperation, despair and panic.  As I begin the process of packing your things, I realize that for a long time, you have not been present in our relationship.  You've said it, not hiding the fact; and in complete desperation, I have tried to hold onto what I thought we had.  So, I am letting you go.

I pray with every ounce of love I have for you that you will not completely self-destruct and that someday you will permit me in your life again.  I have never wanted your pain, inconvenience, unhappiness, and all the things I've attempted to instill in you have been for your overall health and happiness.